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Copyright Sukhy Bains: June 2011. All rights reserved
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Inspiring Asian Women everywhere to lead Empowered, PASSIONATE and fuLfilled lives |
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June 2011 ISSUE 11 |
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focus |
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Asian Woman |
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Newsletter packed with ideas, latest research, tools & techniques specially geared to supporting Asian women excel in their career, relationships, family and in celebrating their own individuality. |
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In this issue: |
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¨ Editor’s message ¨ Feature article: What holds you back the most? |
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Please forward this newsletter to anyone you think may find it valuable. |
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Don’t be surprised if it’s you! Research shows that women generally engage in far more negative self- talk than men do in the business environment. So is it any surprise when we hear figures like women earning 17% less than their male counterparts?
According to latest studies Asian Women on average earn an astounding 11% less than their white female counterparts!! Self- talk plays a major part in determining our performance, success and even happiness levels.
If you don’t manage your self- talk, you can’t manage your career or certain aspects of your life successfully because you will constantly be getting in your own way.
Ever sat in an important meeting, had a strong urge to ask a question that you sensed was important but there was a little voice in your head that was saying, “shouldn’t you know the answer to that, everybody else probably does?”. Or “it’s not a good question, they may think I’m silly for asking it.” “It’s probably not that important anyway.” Or a number of other statements which cause you not to ask that important question. |
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What holds you back the most? |
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Then someone else in the meeting does ask that very same question and everyone says what a good point that was and they get all the credit. So they sit there smiling and you sit there seething.
You didn’t listen to your intuition but instead listened to your Gremlin! |
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I did a bikeathon recently which meant I would be cycling almost non-stop for 13 miles. Having never cycled for more than a mile at one time, this was rather a hefty challenge for me. So I had the usual battle of the inner voices one telling me that I was crazy, I wouldn't be able to do it and the other saying “of course you can, at least give it a go”. YES, I won and my negative inner voice gave in. I actually ended up doing 20 miles and loved it! |
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In fact, the gremlin will do it’s best to sabotage your success by telling you things like “You can’t” “You shouldn’t or you should” “This is the way it is, you can’t change it” “You don’t deserve” “Don’t rock the boat”
Recognise any of those?
We all have gremlins and you will see them show up in all areas of your life, especially, where you may be starting to move towards change. |
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The good news is that you can control them instead of them controlling you. But in order to control them you need to become aware of how your own particular gremlin shows up. ¨ What exactly does it say to you? ¨ When is it noisiest? ¨ Where is it fearful of taking risks? ¨ Where does it stop you from thinking big? ¨ Where does it prevent you from living the juicy life you want to live? |
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Once you know it’s devious ways, you can make the choice of whether you listen to it or not.
You can learn how you manage it effectively so that you are the master of your destiny and not some unknown part of you that holds you back.
Spend a few moments reflecting where you feel you hold back in your life and in your career, write down the conversation you have with yourself. Challenge yourself, is it really true? What is the truth and what is the lie? |
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That little voice is known by many names, the gremlin, the inner critic, the skeptic, the saboteur. It is the voice that causes you to doubt yourself and so you end up playing small. It wants you to be safe, so you won’t be laughed at or ridiculed which is all well and good but if we want to have a great life, make progress and achieve stretching goals, it isn’t going to help you in any way to play small. |
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Gremlins show up in all sorts of ways, sometimes they can claim to be looking after you and protecting you and at other times they are telling you that you are not good enough and beating you up. |
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The more you learn about your gremlin, the more you can take charge of it and have success on your terms and not the gremlins terms! |